Categories
life personal

Alternate Universes (I’m learning to live in this world)

When I was in school I knew a boy who believed in alternate universes. We had Materials and Design Tech together in year ten, and he’d often find his way to my work bench where he would sit and discuss his theories with me. Theory Boy believed that there could be an infinite number of […]

Categories
mental health recovery

It Totally and Completely Depends.

Let me preface this with the context that this writing is therapy homework. A blog post and homework all in one. Brilliant. I mean, if you have to kill two birds, you may well use one stone. I call it genius, others probably call it lazy. (off topic, but I don’t support the killing of […]

Categories
life personal

Scattered.

I’ve been trying to figure out how I feel at this point in my life for a few days now. Nothing really fits. Things are ultimately going pretty well for me on a superficial front, and I’m enjoying that a lot. But. I can’t work myself out. I have to know things, a strength and […]

Categories
life

I’m Talking to Me. (or, a hypocrite speaks)

Sometimes I want to be together, I want to sound intelligent, well researched. I want to everything to progress through a series of steps until it reaches a conclusion, my life to be like a well-formed essay. Sometimes I think I just need honesty. I am a mess. Like completely. I can’t think of a single […]

Categories
Faith personal

Work and Rest are a Surprisingly Difficult Balance.

My entire life exists in extremes. I’ve felt like this for a long time. I’m either working myself to the point of exhaustion or letting my life just stop. I don’t know how to just exist anymore. Maybe I never have? I’ve spent a lot of time stopped in the last two years. I fulfil […]

Categories
mental health recovery

To The Bone, a Recovery Reading.

In year 11 and 12 I did top level English. It was an interesting experience for all involved in my education. I was a bit of a mess at that point in my life and had sub-zero confidence in my ability to have an actual opinion on anything. Despite this, one of the most important […]

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mental health personal

Thoughts on Rock Bottom

A few months ago Paramore released a new album, the first in a long time. Like last time there was a new Paramore album I was in high school and had a halfhearted emo fringe. So I was excited. It’s a good album. It’s different, but I love it. But this post is not a […]

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mental health recovery

Let Your Mornings Be New

Wake up, rub the sleep and flaking mascara from your tired eyes, drag yourself out of bed. Stumble to the bathroom, wherever it is in this empty quiet house that probably isn’t your own. Stare yourself down in the mirror. You look like some kind of 1950’s horror movie extra. Lips are so chapped they’re […]

Categories
Faith mental health

Everything gets bad again. (and, an optimistic life spoiler)

I was sitting in bed the other night, half doing a strange combination of things, scrolling through Tumblr, listening to whatever music came up next on shuffle, reading. Mostly thinking. There’s always this strange period of time, a kind of limbo, between taking my night meds and when they actually kick in properly and I fall […]

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anxiety mental health

On Having Anxiety, Part 2//A Reflection

Part 1// I’m 18, a university student and part time admin assistant. I was sitting in my very first psychologist’s office, staring blankly at a wall, trying to ignore the sense of impending doom in my chest. We’d been discussing life, and I’d decided that it wasn’t a thing I wanted to do anymore. “I […]