Categories
personal

my hair is curly now (reflections on 21).

my hair is curly now. i bet you didn’t expect thatwhen you wrapped dirt and shamearound my half grown body. long hair brushed straight—one hundred times—to pull the memory out afterwards,but my milk tooth brain couldnever quite push you away. the day i chopped my long hair offi thought i was free—i was not free. […]

Categories
life mental health personal recovery

mad crazy tired. (when recovering is not glamourus).

Right now I should be writing about Galenic theory and the Hippocratic school. I realise that this is procrastination in a charade of productivity. I just cleaned my kitchen and my bathroom, too. My hands are still dry from dish soap. I miss writing. Even my journal is more collected pieces of paper, scraps of […]

Categories
mental health recovery

Trying to Live in a Recovering Body

“Do you have any tips for shopping for a year 12 ball dress in recovery after gaining weight?”  This question was sent to me the other day. Simple enough really, once sentence, one question, a string of words that pulled me back to 17, only to whip-lash back to the present. I started year 12 […]

Categories
life personal

New Year, Vaguely Same Me. (Also, some goals)

By the time this post goes up we will already be ten days into the New Year. Fortunately, there’s no one grading me on my submission of goals or I would have failed this year by default. At the end of 2013, I decided I didn’t like the idea of resolutions. I then came up […]

Categories
Faith mental health recovery

Washing Machine Prayers

If I could find a way to put the last few months into paragraphs, I would, but right now I am faced with a washing machine full of words. If I open it now everything will spill out, tangled in soap and dirty water, and I will be swamped. I’ve searched everywhere I can think […]

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life mental health personal

Paint and Completed Essays.

It’s 1:34 pm on a Wednesday afternoon. I am still wearing the clothes I slept in under the oversized shirt I wear when I paint. Six weeks ago I would have been preparing for my psychology class, annotating notes on Erickson and Maslow and psycho-social development. Probably anxiously picking at my nails, simultaneously overwhelmed and […]

Categories
mental health recovery

Protest//Forget

I caught myself kicking off again today. I don’t know why my brain does this to me, maybe it’s just part of the process of detangling myself, but for some reason my first reaction to a difficult time™ is to completely self destruct. Engaging in conversations that can only go badly. Running 5kms on an […]

Categories
life mental health

I have had the wind kicked out of me.

When I was a kid, my siblings and I used to get sent down the local park by my mother whenever she got sick of us all. This happened often. We made good use of this time by finding other local kids to fight. Though I spent the majority of my childhood devising ways to avoid […]

Categories
life personal

A kind of writers block that isn’t quite writers block. 

I’ve had a pretty good few months writing wise. I’d go as far as to say I’ve been on a creative high. Like, I didn’t mean to blog multiple times a week, I didn’t plan on my posts consistently surpassing one thousand words. I was proof reading my writing back and actually enjoying the process. […]

Categories
anxiety life

A Bell Jar of Stress and Trying to Leave it. 

I accidentally reached the point where who I am as a person is synonymous with being stressed, which was entirely unintentional and not the dazzling personality trait I’d hoped for. Maybe we all should have seen it coming when my Mother used to say I had frog fingers thanks to my bitten away nails making […]