Categories
mental health personal

my tarot cards told me to suck it up.

I don’t really believe in tarot. I have a science degree, and I’ve gone to church my whole life, both experiences that discourage the use of tarot. I do believe in making meaning from signs and symbols, even if there is no divine or otherworldly influence underneath it all. It gives me something to write […]

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art

sun queen.

some sort of sun queen. acrylic on board.purchase here.

Categories
Faith life personal

in thinness.

My housemate has been away for the past three weeks, and I have got to know parts of myself better that I thought I would. As somewhat of an introvert I enjoy my time alone. I like coming home to an empty kitchen each night. I blast music in the mornings and talk back to […]

Categories
personal

my hair is curly now (reflections on 21).

-(a collection of words from a late night run.)  I don’t have much to say about 21. Other than somehow I am thankful. A kind of thankful that is hidden under layers of mistrust in my own ability to be thankful for whatever all this was. These days I do not have so many words […]

Categories
anxiety personal

training wheels.

I still remember learning to ride a bike. My first bike was tiny, bright fluorescent pink with white tires and training wheels that were permanently attached. I outgrew it fast and it was passed down to my younger brother who told me that it was not pink, rather faded red and also a motorcycle. It […]

Categories
life mental health personal recovery

mad crazy tired. (when recovering is not glamourus).

Right now I should be writing about Galenic theory and the Hippocratic school. I realise that this is procrastination in a charade of productivity. I just cleaned my kitchen and my bathroom, too. My hands are still dry from dish soap. I miss writing. Even my journal is more collected pieces of paper, scraps of […]

Categories
mental health recovery

Let’s Get Real//late thoughts on NEDA week 2018

I missed participating in NEDA week partially because it was also the week before my best friends wedding day, partially because my words are a bit tangled in the debris of actually recovering right now. Despite my own lack of active participation, I watched as my social media feeds filled with the never-ending discussion of […]

Categories
mental health recovery

Trying to Live in a Recovering Body

“Do you have any tips for shopping for a year 12 ball dress in recovery after gaining weight?”  This question was sent to me the other day. Simple enough really, once sentence, one question, a string of words that pulled me back to 17, only to whip-lash back to the present. I started year 12 […]

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art life personal

Down Days and Drawing El.

Januarys feel like trying to swim in custard. Treading water, exhausting with no forward motion. I don’t like the uncertainty that comes along with the promise of a new year. Anxiety demands that I am in control, with every future step planned. Right now I am very much not in control. I’m desperately job hunting, […]

Categories
life personal

New Year, Vaguely Same Me. (Also, some goals)

By the time this post goes up we will already be ten days into the New Year. Fortunately, there’s no one grading me on my submission of goals or I would have failed this year by default. At the end of 2013, I decided I didn’t like the idea of resolutions. I then came up […]